There's a ferocity there, almost an anger, but it's not at her. It's about her not being believed, about her being hurt, and for just a slight instant, Eponine thinks she can see the barest flicker what he might be like to a demon. She'd spoken to Betty about knowing what it's like to feel like it was your fault, something that was really done to you, and she thinks he understands, too.
Her eyes go shiny, though, when he tells her, soft and stern and compelling, that no one is allowed to touch her unless she asks them to. It's so far from anything she's ever believed to be true -- at least, about herself. Even if she'd been in love with a good, kind man, someone like Marius who knew how to court properly and wanted to marry her instead of just being after her body, sex was one of those things that happened after marriage because it just did, a wifely duty. And those who weren't so kind --
She knows that here it's not like that, it's much freer. She's kissed Laura on the lips just because, and she's had to hear Eddie and Jamie talking around sex like they haven't figured out what cocks are. But for her...
"I don't know if I can," she says with her best attempt to keep her voice level, "I don't know, you might have to say it again. I just --" She leans forward, abrupt and wraps her arms around his neck in a hug, finding herself in sudden, breath-catching tears.
"I've done so many horrible things," she blurts out, "Not just him. Lying and thieving and being jealous and fighting and wishing my parents dead. And I think I might be properly damned. But you're always so nice to me."
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Date: 2018-11-24 05:26 am (UTC)Her eyes go shiny, though, when he tells her, soft and stern and compelling, that no one is allowed to touch her unless she asks them to. It's so far from anything she's ever believed to be true -- at least, about herself. Even if she'd been in love with a good, kind man, someone like Marius who knew how to court properly and wanted to marry her instead of just being after her body, sex was one of those things that happened after marriage because it just did, a wifely duty. And those who weren't so kind --
She knows that here it's not like that, it's much freer. She's kissed Laura on the lips just because, and she's had to hear Eddie and Jamie talking around sex like they haven't figured out what cocks are. But for her...
"I don't know if I can," she says with her best attempt to keep her voice level, "I don't know, you might have to say it again. I just --" She leans forward, abrupt and wraps her arms around his neck in a hug, finding herself in sudden, breath-catching tears.
"I've done so many horrible things," she blurts out, "Not just him. Lying and thieving and being jealous and fighting and wishing my parents dead. And I think I might be properly damned. But you're always so nice to me."